"asdlkj"

Once again the weekend has come and gone. *sigh*

It was definitely one of those weekends where you see the shifts in your life take place and you have to just take it one step at a time. I guess you can say I had sort of a 'mental short' this weekend and had something in my head much different for the turn out. Graduation party was Saturday which was alright until of course the rain came and changed the swing of things. It seems to always happen that way but I think there was a reason for it. And I've also decided that I need to stop exerting my patience. I need to keep myself in situations that make me happy and not put everyone I know ahead of me. When all of my really close friends are in relationships they tend to do just that but I however, even being in a relationship, try to stretch my neck to make everything perfect. Of course they care and they want to be included but they get sucked into being what I called "married" and forget that we're all still friends. What I'm saying is that I need to stop stressing over people's happiness when I can't change situations. I know it's going to take some work but I've already gotten better at letting things go.. I'm sure this will just be another bump in the road.

I woke up in a funk yesterday from the night before so I went for a long walk up at Jacobsburg State Park yesterday by myself to clear my head. It was a beautiful day and somehow I ended up in the middle of a large open field with what was seeming to overlook another mountain of the area. It was gorgeous and all at one time, I felt ok. I felt like things with work and love and life and relationships with whom ever are going to be ok. I have to keep up this positive mind set to not only keep myself strong but others around me.

[This is a picture of the field, the mountain is beyond the tree line.]

I also cleared my head and realized although I'm not doing a job right now that I absolutely love, I'm at least seeing what I know not to do again. Of course the position is great and I'm so glad to have a job. It's just not my passion right now and I think I'm too young to have this 9-5, Monday thru Friday lifestyle. I love being busy and working and being responsible, but at the same time I feel like I'm giving up on my youth all too quickly.

Chicago in 9 days! I can't wait to just take a break from reality and right now, something I need so much.

Work was crazy all day. I have a feeling it's going to be crazy all week and I'm actually ok with that. Guess I should wrap up for the day since I leave in 20.


Until the next thought-

Amdawg, xo