Something's gotta give

It's been a minute since I capture my thoughts here but I guess I haven't had much free time. Plus, whenever I have free time anymore I just think about negative thoughts. I've tried so hard over the last few months to remain positive and not take anything to heart. But my god, is that a lot harder than it sounds.

Maybe doing more of this -->

Nah, but for real. There are times I still think about what would have happened if I finished my "dream" of becoming so accomplished and moved out west or completely changed my life. I wonder if I really would have been much happier. Of course right now I still feel stuck and extremely anxious for something to come through but I know I have to do the searching. Opportunities that can't be turned down just don't lurk around the corner. There's a lot of investigating and networking that's involved. I personally would settle for a long vacation with good company and a decent location right now. I'm only 23 years old and I have the rest of my life to work. I think that's another reason why a lot of negative things run through my head. I'm one to finish the job, all the way through (in most cases), to make sure it's to it's 110% fullest. I cannot stand to work with people who don't think the same way. People who have been in this way longer than I have and can't make a copy when the machine is closer to them than me. I'm just really tired of being used, so to speak, since I know there are things I am WAYYYY more capable of doing. I don't have the responsibility here and that definitely kills me. It burdens my personality because I don't have the full potential to express myself and my ideas. I think it's really time to decide what to do.

I'll have my LASIK surgery paid off at the end of this year and it's definitely an accomplishment. Maybe I'll start looking for something or maybe I'll just really decide on it and go back to school. The whole thing is up to me but of course, I'm the great procrastinator. Ugh, the cycle!

Need another good trip soon. I've been trying to plan a trip to Portland with Tom but tickets are outrageously expensive right now for a weekend trip. I signed up through BING to get alerts but the price is still high so I'm holding out. We're actually going to start making a list of things to do because we both want to do a shit-ton but can never think of it off the top of our heads.

So if you haven't seen this site (http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2009), please take a minute to laugh about something. I was shown this site about a year ago and it never seises to amuse me.

H2O coming up this weekend. This is something I've been looking forward to since the day I left last year. OCMD, VWs, boyfriend, good company, beers, and laughs. What more could a girl ask for?


Until the next thought-

xoxo
Amdawg